Yes, I know it has been ages since I last wrote to the great void of people who actually care to know what's up with me.. but honestly does surgery and post surgical malaise due just fine as my excuse? Thank you very much.
I don't do recovery easily... anesthesia seems to lay around inside my veins waiting until I think I should be back into the fray of life to sneak out and lay me low.
It is humbling experience and at the same time a mirror into noticing if I am either 1.) much to hard on myself to be doing things much too soon after surgery (okay 9 days post surgery, and a two hour trip to Suttons Bay should not require a two hour deadman's nap, but alas it did); or 2.) noticing some creeping in of mild melancholy, and whining about how low my energy is and how this hurts or that aches.
Ginger came for a 3 day visit .. to tend to me.. hang out... walk... cook.. vacumm, dust... Thank God for daughters. Late fall arrived, and winter's scouts are scurrying around the yard, testing our readiness, sounding their warning.
It is all gift .. the acute attention focusing lens of surgery and waiting to hear about test results..
The dulled sense of the world and intense focus on bodily needs post surgery. The loosening of work's hold on my body.. relaxing of mind and body, time for meditation, time for noticing...
We are always being shaped and formed, but I appreciate this gift of distance from the world's concerns, to ask myself "what do I keep from this time, how has it shaped me, what is being transformed within?
You, Oh Lord, are kind, and full of compassion...... psalm 145